Marriage

I have seen so many failed marriages. Parents, friends, relatives, pastors... It makes me think what makes a lasting marriage. I know for certain that it's not a marriage that is looking for some type of financial or emotional gain. My mom married to escape her abusive stepdad. She married the first guy who proposed...that didn't work out. My engaged friend it waiting three years until she is out of college to get married so that she can be on her parents insurance until she's married...

And then there's my friend Becca who is happily married to the man of her dreams. They have a loving relationship that she never once has anything negative to say. She got married at 19...she didn't have to but she knew that he was the one and it probably wasn't financially smart..but who cares...right? There best friends.

I want that... I want what she has. I look at Jason and I can see us together for a very long time. I told him last Friday that I didn't know if he was my forever...and it's been eating me up inside. There will be no financial gain if we get married...we both have debt and i'm about to accumulate more... I can expect him to take all of my emotional baggage... I just have to let go of my past...realize that he'll make a wonderful husband. He told that he thought I would make a great wife (hopefully he still does) and that has stuck with me these last couple of days.

He's one of my best friends. I would be really sad if he wasn't there anymore, but he doesn't complete me. I complete me. I don't need anyone else....and when I am able to truly believe that with my whole heart is when I can be the best wife possible to anyone.

I think the best marriages are when two people who know themselves fully are able to come together...not as one but as two...two separate lives who are mixed up like a salad bowl not a melting pot...